"It's the hardest thing ever!"

I'm beginning to discover why veterans of learning a second language were so realistic with us about language learning being the hardest thing you could ever do. I think it's hard for different reasons, depending on who you are.

For me the technical aspect of learning the language isn't the hardest thing I've ever done. I think finishing the mini-marathon (and yes, I only walked it) was much harder. Adjusting to another family culture after getting married was MUCH harder! I KNOW that maintaining discipline in certain areas of my life is THE hardest (by the way, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all the sponsors of my chocolate love affair).

What makes language learning so hard for me? I think it's a combination of two things, or maybe it just boils down to one thing: emotional drain. I'm so exhausted at the end of the week from learning and remembering all the new material that I simply want to collapse at the end of the week. I don't have the spare energy to parent well or to communicate respectfully or lovingly to Marshall, much less get myself out of the apartment and practice my Hebrew on actual Israelis. Yet I know that I can't abandon those responsibilities. So I have to dig much deeper, because my personal supply of perseverance has been completely depleted.

Dig deeper? That just rang a bell! A.B. Simpson, founder of the C&MA, was keen on the deeper life - a deeper spiritual life that was constantly nourished by the filling of the Holy Spirit. "Your mercies are new every morning!" celebrated a famous psalmist. Oh that I would remember to rely on those mercies and so glorify His name because of endurance that defies human limitations!

The apostle Paul defined perseverance as the ability to keep your faith through a difficult situation, and at the end of that situation - to still be standing. That's where I would like to find myself at the end of the week - still standing (as opposed to draped over the loveseat buried beneath a cozy blanket that semi-effectively drowns out the sounds of reality).

Unexpected Flatmate

(The following is a post from December that I never finished until now.)

Sooo....

Marshall and I are finding it a struggle to study our Hebrew tonight, knowing that we are returning to school after a short holiday break and doing our best to procrastinate. We have studied here and there throughout the break, and we promised ourselves that tonight - finally - after Russell went to bed, we would dedicate ourselves to only Hebrew.

That must be why we were preparing hot beverages, washing dishes, picking up toys... In the name of all things distracting, Marshall deciced to dust the top of the blind box above the kitchen window. He drug a chair over to the window and set in with great throroughness. Suddenly his entire body jerked in reaction to what he had just discovered.

"Babs," he spoke hesitantly. "Do you remember the morning a couple months ago that I told you I found a lizard in our apartment, but that he ran away and I couldn't find him again?" His voice trailed off as though he really didn't want to finish his story.

I braced myself.

"I just found him." Very carefully he used his cleaning rag to pick up our unexpected flatmate from his perch. He didn't give Marshall a fight - in fact, he was rigidly formal about the whole matter.

Sounds of the Season

At this time of year you might expect that the "sounds of the season" might be the Salvation Army bell, the dying battery-powered music of the Christmas aisles, and strategic conversations of navigating the seasonal sales. While the spirit of the season lives strong in my heart, the sounds (moreover, the season) are much different.

"Do you think we need our jackets today?" This is just plain funny since we're getting daily reports of how many inches of snow there are in the Midwest.

"Maybe it will rain sometime this week!" I think I've previously mentioned how we have that tingle in our stomachs as though we're anticipating a fresh snowfall at the beginning of the season. Russell has a Looney Toons umbrella, and he's only been able to use it once now. Let me restate that: He's used it more than once, but it was only necessary to use once.

"Oi!" Russell has been using this exclusively for anything that requires effort or has surprised him.

"How do you say that?" Is it lach or lecha or leho or lee? Is it tsarich or tsricha? Why does the word for urgent sound so foolish? Does it have to sound like I'm using vulgar language in English when I talk about Marshall eating?

"This is difficult for me to hear." As we progress in ulpan (in both language and relationships with classmates), we are asked to explain why we moved here if we are not Jewish. This is a relatively safe environment to share our hearts with them, as long as our words are seasoned with much grace. We mostly get two reactions. The first is "So you're with Jews for Jesus?" and the second is "This is difficult for me to hear." As we hear their stories, we've learned that so many Jewish people have been aggressively pursued by a well-meaning organization to the point of harrassment. They are tired. When a conversation opens up with us and they are assured that we are NOT with that organization, they inquire more about the local Messianic Jewish people. Many of our classmates have come to an religious Jewish experience rather recently (as opposed to being secular), so it's difficult for them to have embraced their religious heritage and to consider "abandoning" that heritage. It is a constant struggle to explain that Messianics don't abandon anything, but rather find fulfillment in Jesus - He is the fulfillment of so many of their prophecies! It is my prayer that God will convince them because we can't. They have grown up believing that if you believe in Jesus you necessarily abandon everything you were. In one sense that is true: To die to self is to gain Christ. However, in Christ we are made "complete" - not ripped in half.

So the season I write about is not a holiday season, but a season of adaptation and preparation. Our ears and hearts are wide open and receptive to the lessons we are confident God will pour into us. May the sounds of this season be reflective of hearts that are following after God.

Labor Intensive

In the course of studying my vocabulary from ulpan (Hebrew language school) I find myself giggling something fierce. Hebrew is like a classic comedy sketch: Me is who and who is he but he is she. It's confusing, isn't it? So I decided to straighten it out by repeating the words over and over again: he, he, who; he, he, who; he, he, who. I find that my teeth are gritted together, my forehead is wrinkled in concentration, and I'm trying to push because I've slipped into Lamaze breathing! And this is just with the pronouns!

On a more serious note, today was our 8th anniversary. Last night I experienced some homesickness. I dreamt of going to Burger King for a ham, egg, and cheese croissant and their delicious coffee (only to have the coffee machine broken and the cashier dump my drink on the floor when I asked if I could buy orange juice as well). I'm trying to figure out where the homesickness is coming from. We had a teammate over for dinner, and she is staying in the bungalow for a few days this week. The bungalow is where we started out, so maybe some of it is memories from those first days. I think another part is the knotted feeling in the pit of my stomach as we face another phase of "what am I getting into?" with ulpan. On the bus today Marshall was saying, "I am capable of learning Hebrew. It is possible to learn Hebrew. God called us here so we must learn Hebrew." over and over again. It's good to say those things to yourself - to remind yourself of the facts when your emotions threaten to take control. I think, also, it's been three months since seeing friends and family from the States - past the "short term" point - and I simply miss people that had more common appearances in my life until now.

So let's count our blessings and name them one by one:
1. Shawarma and filalfel (hee, hee, hee)
2. An apartment that is PERFECT for us in size, location, and with quite a view
3. A husband who doesn't mind me thinking out loud and likes to study with me
4. A son who still delights in life
5. Teammates who genuinely care for us and we can count as friends
6. Access to a car so that we can travel places on Shabbat
7. Instructors at the ulpan who are interested in our success
8. Care packages that have fun surprises and chocolate in them
9. Russell's improved behaviour at school
10. Cheap produce

I could go on and on with more serious things and more silly things, but the important thing is that my mind is now in the right place. May praise for my God always be on my tongue!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

Do you know the feeling you get when you happen to look up from your menial tasks and see that it's snowing outside? It's sort of a fluttery-excited-your-heart-starts-to-jingle kind of a feeling. I got that feeling yesterday!

No, it didn't snow. It rained!

I thought a pot was boiling over on the stove, but dinner was in check. It took Marshall and I a couple minutes to figure out what the noise was. Finally he happened to look up from aforesaid menial tasks and noticed that it was raining. We stood on our balcony like giddy teenagers watching the rain coat the streets with a silver sheen. We couldn't stop smiling as we drove to Shabbat service, admiring the patterns of rivers on our windshield. I even urged Marshall to park a little further away than what was available just so we could enjoy the rain longer.

*sigh*

It rained!

One of These Things is Not Like the Other

There are several terms that are translated into an English equivalent that I'm familiar with, but it often turns out that more than one of these things is not like the other. Below are a few of my observations.

"Kindergarten" There are three years of kindergarten here: Pre-kindergarten for 3-4 year olds and kindergarten for 5-6 year olds. While Russell was enrolled in "kindergarten", he's actually in pre-kindergarten. A better English equivalent would be "pre-school"

"School bus" In September we thought, 'Boy, tourism is really picking up here!' due to all the charter buses. After two weeks of wondering what the attraction to the residential neighborhoods were (yes, we're a bit slow), we figured out that the charter buses were being used as school buses!

"Mall security" With the exception of the small family owned stores, every store you walk into has a metal detector and a security guard posted at the door. After a week of shopping here you get used to putting your purse on the table next to the metal detector and walking through the metal detector while the guard carelessly looks through your purse (if at all) and you continue on your way (even if the metal detector is going off). At first we were suprised with all the security. Then we were surprised at the lack of attention we got from security. Now we realize that Israelis live with a keen sense of awareness about their surroundings. They aren't worried and they don't overreact. They are just aware. They have had lifetimes of knowing what looks suspicious and what to give attention to. For example, if something is left unattended on a bus, any given Israeli will notice it and calmly start asking those around them if the parcel belongs to them. If not, then the word spreads throughout the bus to locate the owner - again, calmly. Eventually the owner is found and scolded. We haven't been around for when the owner isn't present.

"Lemonade" Doesn't that sound refreshing? Especially on a sunny 95 degree day (which is what most of our days are like here)? However, the lemonade here is bitter more than sour and definitely not sweet!

"Electrical plugs" Where do I start? The electrical current is never consistent. They don't always stay in the wall (it depends how crumbly your walls are - remember, all the walls and ceilings are concrete). They usually spark when you plug or unplug your cord. They are at the level of my shoulders. They all have three holes, but they were two diaganol slats and a hole. Most 3 prong electrical items have three round prongs. The advice we got from our teammates? Drill out the slats to be holes. Ok...

"Partially cloudy" This refers to a season and not a day. I think that season starts in October or November, but by Febuary the season is over and we return to "sunny".

"Grocery shopping" If you are used to shopping at Aldi's, then the only challenge you'll face here is finding the food equivalents to what you're looking for. They have most of what you are used to, but it's in different packaging with irrelevant pictures and in different quantities than what you're accustomed to. The produce is the best deal in this country - it is twice the size of American produce and half the cost! As in every shop, you bag your own items. Oh! And when you put your purchase on a credit card they will ask you how many payments you want to make. I'm still not sure how that works, but a lot of Israelis will split their purchase into three payments.

"House cleaning" I'm still experimenting with this. The advice I've heard is to use lots of water. The floors are tile, so the tools of choice are water, a squeegee with a long handle, and a cleaning rag for over the squeegee. There are drains in the floor in almost all the rooms. What I do is sweep and crumbs the dust off the floor, mix a little cleaning product with hot water, and then dump part of the bucket on the floor (which is probably why the outlets are so high off the ground). Then I wrap the rag around the squeegee and scrub as best I can. When I'm done scrubbing I remove the wrag and squeegee the water to the drain. I actually like this last part because then you don't have dirty water sitting on top of your floors to dry. The floors get pretty shiny if you squeegee well, and they feel amazing in your bare feet. I know when it's time to clean the floors when I start preferring to walk around the house in sandals rather than bare feet. Another note on cleaning: In the States I hated to dust and could avoid it for long periods of time. Out here we get the equivalent of 2 months worth of dust in a week. So I've begun dusting more regularly out of necessity.

"Checking account" We just got a shekel account and most of our information is in Hebrew, so we have a lot to learn. What we noticed right away was that you don't need to have any money to have an account. Their technology for signatures impressed us, too. We signed an electronic pad five times each until the computer software found a consistent average. I forgot to use my middle initial in one signature and was rejected, so I had to sign several more times. I don't think there is such a thing as "free" checking, so we're expecting some fees. There are no debit Visa cards here, but we do have an ATM card.

"Salesmanship" While customer service is a novel idea here, salesmanship is spectacular. As a customer, you feel like the salesman truly wants you to have the very best product. If you are even browsing the products, a salesman will come over to you and open the packaging to display or even demonstrate it. I felt a lot of pressure to buy at first, but now that I know it's a common technique I am just entertained. What do they do with all those opened boxes that customers don't buy?!

"Family plan for cell phones" In the States this would mean that you have a block of minutes that every phone on the famiy plan chips away at. Here it means that you have a block of minutes that you can call one other phone with. So our family plan here is only $10 a month and I have 300 minutes I can call Marshall's phone with. Then you pay per minute when you call someone else (which is like 2 cents a minute). By the way, you have to have a shekel checking account in order to get a cell phone plan. Otherwise you get a prepaid phone and pay about 30 cents a minute.

Things I've Noticed about Russell

1. He is very interested in where Jesus is at all times. "If Jesus goes to school with me, then will a little Jesus go to school with you and Daddy?"

2. His tennis shoes have holes in the toes.

3. He knows the names of his classmates.

4. He loves bus rides (and often falls asleep).

5. He has started taking the same group of things and seeing how many different ways he can categorize them: color, shape, size, function...

6. He asks for forgiveness on his own initiative (as in just now when I meant to save a draft of this post and he pushed random buttons on my computers that resulted in it being published).

7. His control over a computer mouse is getting REALLY good.

8. When he is mad at you he growls.

9. He will correct our Hebrew pronunciation, even though he won't actually say the words he knows to anyone.

10. He learned to disguise the taste of green beans by mixing it with the food he does like.