I'm beginning to discover why veterans of learning a second language were so realistic with us about language learning being the hardest thing you could ever do. I think it's hard for different reasons, depending on who you are.
For me the technical aspect of learning the language isn't the hardest thing I've ever done. I think finishing the mini-marathon (and yes, I only walked it) was much harder. Adjusting to another family culture after getting married was MUCH harder! I KNOW that maintaining discipline in certain areas of my life is THE hardest (by the way, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all the sponsors of my chocolate love affair).
What makes language learning so hard for me? I think it's a combination of two things, or maybe it just boils down to one thing: emotional drain. I'm so exhausted at the end of the week from learning and remembering all the new material that I simply want to collapse at the end of the week. I don't have the spare energy to parent well or to communicate respectfully or lovingly to Marshall, much less get myself out of the apartment and practice my Hebrew on actual Israelis. Yet I know that I can't abandon those responsibilities. So I have to dig much deeper, because my personal supply of perseverance has been completely depleted.
Dig deeper? That just rang a bell! A.B. Simpson, founder of the C&MA, was keen on the deeper life - a deeper spiritual life that was constantly nourished by the filling of the Holy Spirit. "Your mercies are new every morning!" celebrated a famous psalmist. Oh that I would remember to rely on those mercies and so glorify His name because of endurance that defies human limitations!
The apostle Paul defined perseverance as the ability to keep your faith through a difficult situation, and at the end of that situation - to still be standing. That's where I would like to find myself at the end of the week - still standing (as opposed to draped over the loveseat buried beneath a cozy blanket that semi-effectively drowns out the sounds of reality).
Showing posts with label language learning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label language learning. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, December 29, 2008
Unexpected Flatmate
(The following is a post from December that I never finished until now.)
Sooo....
Marshall and I are finding it a struggle to study our Hebrew tonight, knowing that we are returning to school after a short holiday break and doing our best to procrastinate. We have studied here and there throughout the break, and we promised ourselves that tonight - finally - after Russell went to bed, we would dedicate ourselves to only Hebrew.
That must be why we were preparing hot beverages, washing dishes, picking up toys... In the name of all things distracting, Marshall deciced to dust the top of the blind box above the kitchen window. He drug a chair over to the window and set in with great throroughness. Suddenly his entire body jerked in reaction to what he had just discovered.
"Babs," he spoke hesitantly. "Do you remember the morning a couple months ago that I told you I found a lizard in our apartment, but that he ran away and I couldn't find him again?" His voice trailed off as though he really didn't want to finish his story.
I braced myself.
"I just found him." Very carefully he used his cleaning rag to pick up our unexpected flatmate from his perch. He didn't give Marshall a fight - in fact, he was rigidly formal about the whole matter.
Sooo....
Marshall and I are finding it a struggle to study our Hebrew tonight, knowing that we are returning to school after a short holiday break and doing our best to procrastinate. We have studied here and there throughout the break, and we promised ourselves that tonight - finally - after Russell went to bed, we would dedicate ourselves to only Hebrew.
That must be why we were preparing hot beverages, washing dishes, picking up toys... In the name of all things distracting, Marshall deciced to dust the top of the blind box above the kitchen window. He drug a chair over to the window and set in with great throroughness. Suddenly his entire body jerked in reaction to what he had just discovered.
"Babs," he spoke hesitantly. "Do you remember the morning a couple months ago that I told you I found a lizard in our apartment, but that he ran away and I couldn't find him again?" His voice trailed off as though he really didn't want to finish his story.
I braced myself.
"I just found him." Very carefully he used his cleaning rag to pick up our unexpected flatmate from his perch. He didn't give Marshall a fight - in fact, he was rigidly formal about the whole matter.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Sounds of the Season
At this time of year you might expect that the "sounds of the season" might be the Salvation Army bell, the dying battery-powered music of the Christmas aisles, and strategic conversations of navigating the seasonal sales. While the spirit of the season lives strong in my heart, the sounds (moreover, the season) are much different.
"Do you think we need our jackets today?" This is just plain funny since we're getting daily reports of how many inches of snow there are in the Midwest.
"Maybe it will rain sometime this week!" I think I've previously mentioned how we have that tingle in our stomachs as though we're anticipating a fresh snowfall at the beginning of the season. Russell has a Looney Toons umbrella, and he's only been able to use it once now. Let me restate that: He's used it more than once, but it was only necessary to use once.
"Oi!" Russell has been using this exclusively for anything that requires effort or has surprised him.
"How do you say that?" Is it lach or lecha or leho or lee? Is it tsarich or tsricha? Why does the word for urgent sound so foolish? Does it have to sound like I'm using vulgar language in English when I talk about Marshall eating?
"This is difficult for me to hear." As we progress in ulpan (in both language and relationships with classmates), we are asked to explain why we moved here if we are not Jewish. This is a relatively safe environment to share our hearts with them, as long as our words are seasoned with much grace. We mostly get two reactions. The first is "So you're with Jews for Jesus?" and the second is "This is difficult for me to hear." As we hear their stories, we've learned that so many Jewish people have been aggressively pursued by a well-meaning organization to the point of harrassment. They are tired. When a conversation opens up with us and they are assured that we are NOT with that organization, they inquire more about the local Messianic Jewish people. Many of our classmates have come to an religious Jewish experience rather recently (as opposed to being secular), so it's difficult for them to have embraced their religious heritage and to consider "abandoning" that heritage. It is a constant struggle to explain that Messianics don't abandon anything, but rather find fulfillment in Jesus - He is the fulfillment of so many of their prophecies! It is my prayer that God will convince them because we can't. They have grown up believing that if you believe in Jesus you necessarily abandon everything you were. In one sense that is true: To die to self is to gain Christ. However, in Christ we are made "complete" - not ripped in half.
So the season I write about is not a holiday season, but a season of adaptation and preparation. Our ears and hearts are wide open and receptive to the lessons we are confident God will pour into us. May the sounds of this season be reflective of hearts that are following after God.
"Do you think we need our jackets today?" This is just plain funny since we're getting daily reports of how many inches of snow there are in the Midwest.
"Maybe it will rain sometime this week!" I think I've previously mentioned how we have that tingle in our stomachs as though we're anticipating a fresh snowfall at the beginning of the season. Russell has a Looney Toons umbrella, and he's only been able to use it once now. Let me restate that: He's used it more than once, but it was only necessary to use once.
"Oi!" Russell has been using this exclusively for anything that requires effort or has surprised him.
"How do you say that?" Is it lach or lecha or leho or lee? Is it tsarich or tsricha? Why does the word for urgent sound so foolish? Does it have to sound like I'm using vulgar language in English when I talk about Marshall eating?
"This is difficult for me to hear." As we progress in ulpan (in both language and relationships with classmates), we are asked to explain why we moved here if we are not Jewish. This is a relatively safe environment to share our hearts with them, as long as our words are seasoned with much grace. We mostly get two reactions. The first is "So you're with Jews for Jesus?" and the second is "This is difficult for me to hear." As we hear their stories, we've learned that so many Jewish people have been aggressively pursued by a well-meaning organization to the point of harrassment. They are tired. When a conversation opens up with us and they are assured that we are NOT with that organization, they inquire more about the local Messianic Jewish people. Many of our classmates have come to an religious Jewish experience rather recently (as opposed to being secular), so it's difficult for them to have embraced their religious heritage and to consider "abandoning" that heritage. It is a constant struggle to explain that Messianics don't abandon anything, but rather find fulfillment in Jesus - He is the fulfillment of so many of their prophecies! It is my prayer that God will convince them because we can't. They have grown up believing that if you believe in Jesus you necessarily abandon everything you were. In one sense that is true: To die to self is to gain Christ. However, in Christ we are made "complete" - not ripped in half.
So the season I write about is not a holiday season, but a season of adaptation and preparation. Our ears and hearts are wide open and receptive to the lessons we are confident God will pour into us. May the sounds of this season be reflective of hearts that are following after God.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Labor Intensive
In the course of studying my vocabulary from ulpan (Hebrew language school) I find myself giggling something fierce. Hebrew is like a classic comedy sketch: Me is who and who is he but he is she. It's confusing, isn't it? So I decided to straighten it out by repeating the words over and over again: he, he, who; he, he, who; he, he, who. I find that my teeth are gritted together, my forehead is wrinkled in concentration, and I'm trying to push because I've slipped into Lamaze breathing! And this is just with the pronouns!
On a more serious note, today was our 8th anniversary. Last night I experienced some homesickness. I dreamt of going to Burger King for a ham, egg, and cheese croissant and their delicious coffee (only to have the coffee machine broken and the cashier dump my drink on the floor when I asked if I could buy orange juice as well). I'm trying to figure out where the homesickness is coming from. We had a teammate over for dinner, and she is staying in the bungalow for a few days this week. The bungalow is where we started out, so maybe some of it is memories from those first days. I think another part is the knotted feeling in the pit of my stomach as we face another phase of "what am I getting into?" with ulpan. On the bus today Marshall was saying, "I am capable of learning Hebrew. It is possible to learn Hebrew. God called us here so we must learn Hebrew." over and over again. It's good to say those things to yourself - to remind yourself of the facts when your emotions threaten to take control. I think, also, it's been three months since seeing friends and family from the States - past the "short term" point - and I simply miss people that had more common appearances in my life until now.
So let's count our blessings and name them one by one:
1. Shawarma and filalfel (hee, hee, hee)
2. An apartment that is PERFECT for us in size, location, and with quite a view
3. A husband who doesn't mind me thinking out loud and likes to study with me
4. A son who still delights in life
5. Teammates who genuinely care for us and we can count as friends
6. Access to a car so that we can travel places on Shabbat
7. Instructors at the ulpan who are interested in our success
8. Care packages that have fun surprises and chocolate in them
9. Russell's improved behaviour at school
10. Cheap produce
I could go on and on with more serious things and more silly things, but the important thing is that my mind is now in the right place. May praise for my God always be on my tongue!
On a more serious note, today was our 8th anniversary. Last night I experienced some homesickness. I dreamt of going to Burger King for a ham, egg, and cheese croissant and their delicious coffee (only to have the coffee machine broken and the cashier dump my drink on the floor when I asked if I could buy orange juice as well). I'm trying to figure out where the homesickness is coming from. We had a teammate over for dinner, and she is staying in the bungalow for a few days this week. The bungalow is where we started out, so maybe some of it is memories from those first days. I think another part is the knotted feeling in the pit of my stomach as we face another phase of "what am I getting into?" with ulpan. On the bus today Marshall was saying, "I am capable of learning Hebrew. It is possible to learn Hebrew. God called us here so we must learn Hebrew." over and over again. It's good to say those things to yourself - to remind yourself of the facts when your emotions threaten to take control. I think, also, it's been three months since seeing friends and family from the States - past the "short term" point - and I simply miss people that had more common appearances in my life until now.
So let's count our blessings and name them one by one:
1. Shawarma and filalfel (hee, hee, hee)
2. An apartment that is PERFECT for us in size, location, and with quite a view
3. A husband who doesn't mind me thinking out loud and likes to study with me
4. A son who still delights in life
5. Teammates who genuinely care for us and we can count as friends
6. Access to a car so that we can travel places on Shabbat
7. Instructors at the ulpan who are interested in our success
8. Care packages that have fun surprises and chocolate in them
9. Russell's improved behaviour at school
10. Cheap produce
I could go on and on with more serious things and more silly things, but the important thing is that my mind is now in the right place. May praise for my God always be on my tongue!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Throw the Baby Out
Do you know the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water"? In the case of culture and language learning, that's what has happened. After extensive personality indexing and learning style testing Marshall and I have completely reversed roles! He has become the bold "forge ahead even if we mess up" personality while I have reverted to "hide in the apartment until I know I can say it/do it with some measure of confidence".
We're learning our numbers right now. I have been tested and proven as a visual and experiential learner, yet I find myself not clicking with the vocabulary until I have heard a recording of our tutor reciting the vocabulary. I'm forcing myself to look at the numbers written out to bridge the gap between sound and form. Marshall, on the other hand, is preferring to look and remember before listening - he who is such a strong auditory learner!
In short, throw the baby out!
We're learning our numbers right now. I have been tested and proven as a visual and experiential learner, yet I find myself not clicking with the vocabulary until I have heard a recording of our tutor reciting the vocabulary. I'm forcing myself to look at the numbers written out to bridge the gap between sound and form. Marshall, on the other hand, is preferring to look and remember before listening - he who is such a strong auditory learner!
In short, throw the baby out!
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